Little Lady Lost – A sense of peace
That one night, Friday night, November 18th, seems sort of like a dream now (or maybe a nigtmare), but it also feels like a pivotal moment in my life. My life before I lost Lady was a routine. I followed the same schedule, did the same things, but it was fun. I loved spending time with my dogs – taking them for walks, working on obedience training, cuddling with them on the couch, etc. My life after has been so very different. It’s been chaotic and crazy and stressful and emotional. Every day has been filled with the search for Lady – handing out fliers, putting up signs, setting up and checking live traps, searching through woods and tall grass, moving live traps, driving around hoping to see her, racing to the location of the latest sighting… my life has been consumed with the never ending search for her.
That’s why going to work yesterday, the first time since Lady disappeared, was such a strange experience. For eleven days, my life has been consumed with the search for Lady and now here I was going off to work with her still missing. As I said in my previous post, part of me was relieved to get back to work. I craved the routine that would take me away from continuously worrying and wondering about her. Being busy is sometimes the best medicine to grief and worry. It’s an escape. But yesterday there was also a part of me that had a hard time letting go of the search. All day I wondered if there were any sightings or if the fliers were still being distributed (they were) or if she had had been caught in a live trap (sadly, she was not). Then yesterday afternoon, I felt a sense of peace overcome me and I just let it all go. I had the sense that everything would be okay. I don’t know why. I don’t even know what what it means, if it means anything at all, but it has erased all of the tension and worry and fear that I have felt every day since Lady disappeared. Maybe I’m truly letting go for the first time and just letting whatever is meant to be unfold as it is designed to do. Either way, I go to work today knowing that Lady is out there somewhere and that she is okay. We may not find her today or tomorrow, but we will find her. It’s just a matter of time.
Search update: There were no sightings of Lady yesterday. The live traps were empty as well. If she continues to stick to the general pattern she seems to have established for herself, I would expect a sighting today. But, I won’t hold onto that as a given. We just don’t know when she will appear again, or where. More wonderful people handed out fliers yesterday and new ones were made up (thank you Julie). I continue to watch for her and to hand out fliers when I can. Come home Lady.
You can read more about the search for Lady and how she was found in the posts listed below.
Post #3: Little Lady Lost – The Latest
Post #9 (This Post): Little Lady Lost – A sense of peace
Post #10: Little Lady Lost – HOME AT LAST!